Work, Family, and Failing at the Internet

Hi, I'm the Wirral Squirrel, purveyor of all things Poo related.

I was intending to keep an F1 Theme to any post I may add to the blog, but right now I think this is more of an appropriate subject matter.

My Father In Law (to be, as I'm not actually married.. Yes I can hear you Harpo)

He's a Cock. A Stubborn Cock at that.

See, I have my angry head on, and the aforementioned old duffer is the cause of said angry head. He has some software that he Invented, and it is rather good. It stops Farmers from losing all of their money and putting their shotgun in their mouth and pulling the trigger. Anyway, being one to help others in need (especially family) He asked me to help him build a website, and I stupidly agreed, despite not really having built one. Ever. Remember, this little gem of an invention could be left to us in his Will one day, so I was just thinking about looking after the inheritance!

From Day One, I knew that it was going to be a bad idea though. I offered suggestions as to the direction of the site only to be met with some piss poor mockups he'd created and a demand for "I want this" . So I attempted to recreate what he wanted, despite the fact I knew that the site which we were giving birth to was a Dead Cert to Fail.Massively.

I then set up Google Analytics, and waited. I could see my theory slowly becoming reality..

First he decided he wanted a "sale" as his software wasn't selling. I did that.

Then he really started stressing as he couldn't fathom why farmers "STILL didn't want to buy it"

So I told him today, via email His Website is CRAP. By sheer coincidence, they were coming up to visit other relatives this evening, and popped in to see us. Our discussion quickly turned into a "heated discussion" and ended abruptly with him storming out of our house. He simply can't accept what I am telling him. Being over 40 years his Junior, he obviously thinks I know jack-shit.

I know a little. Actually I know more thanks to my man Harvo, who says I fail at making the Internet. And it is so True. I do Poo, that's my thing.

The moral of this Story: Never work with your family. Just hand them the shotgun and let them play "Sad Farmer" on their own.

And yes, I was going to add some LOLPics. But I failed at that too. I need to go to HTML Special School or something....

Tonight Baxon saved my life

Ok maybe that's an exaggeration but to my horror I was not only cooking for 1, but there was no lurpak left which meant no beans on toast, no crumpets but luckily I had an emergency pack of baxon in the fridge so I made a pasta creation which was pretty lame. I think it was a bit of a food fail tonight.



Onto another fail...male chauvinists.

Do not fear I am not about to turn into a militant feminist here but I heard a discussion where a man said,

A wife is there to support her husband emotionally and satisfy his needs.

I gotta be honest I was disgusted that in 2010 some men cannot accept that women are equal and independent. If I get married, why shouldn't my husband support and satisfy me!! Seriously, this along with my wedding fail dream has made me rethink whether I want to get married in the forseable future. But hell, if someone came along and wanted to put a ring on it the size of a rock, I may consider it, but he'd have to be hot, like Lee Mossop ass hot or Matt Cooper hot, something along those lines.

Talking of Rugby League, its coming up to Superleague time and gutted that Wigan aren't on sky for their Catalans Dragons game tomorrow night. Not trying to sound like I only watch it for the ass but although Mossop is named in the squad, he picked up a rib injury against Hull and only played 25mins last week so I won't be missing too much. On a positive note, the Cas game is on Sky on saturday night so I get to watch the lovely Joe Westerman.

Onto something so dear to me, my one true love...Formula 1. The last test is taking place in Barcelona and my fave eurogod Sutil will be testing on sat/sun.

Yes Adrian, i'm looking at you. Fierce. If I ever met him again i'd ask him if he was a parking ticket because he has FINE written all over him.




















Two weeks left until Bahrain people!! I'm trying to hold back my excitement for the start of the 2010 season but i'll leave it to Harvo to bring you the F1 lolz. I'm not sure if wor Squirrel will post anything, he's from the North West and works for a poo factory so he's borderline illiterate.

F1 official testing, it's like when the circus parades through town

F1 is like a circus, and F1 official testing is like when the circus parades through town before setting up shop near the 'travelers' caravan park. Since European regulations banned hippos riding pyramid formation on a moped round the big top, everyone’s favorite’s attraction is the clowns and their funny little cars. I was hoping this season’s new F1 teams would provide similar amusement, but sadly I've been let down.

I like to support the underdog, so last year I donned my Brawn merchandise and cheered them all the way to victory. Since they sold out to the Germans in the guise of Mercedes GP, I'm not so keen. I was hoping I would use testing to decide which one of the new teams I would transfer my loyalties too after burning my Jenson Button cap in disgust.

It seems Virgin Racing is the only new team to make is this far, and they don't exactly fill me with promise. They only managed six laps before the car fell to bits, and even then they were 9 seconds off the pace. I suppose it's there own fault for skipping traditional aerodynamic testing in a wind tunnel before hitting the track. It's a shame really. If they had managed to develop a reliable fast car on such a relatively small budget, it would have been a game changer for other small F1 teams.



USF1 would have fail written all over their car, if they actually had one. It seems one of their biggest sponsors, YouTube, paid a visit to the Charlotte factory recently. They should have filmed their reaction face and posted it on their own website. It seems they decided to pull funding straight away, presuming because due to aforementioned non-existent car.

As for Campos, the other new F1 team, it appears they've taken an extended siesta and no one really knows what they are doing. They've probably gone bankrupt by now, like the rest of Spain.

It looks like my extreme underdog support will be going to Virgin this year, due as much to lack of options as well as their awe-inspiring test results. It should funny season filled with drama, but I can't see me opening the champers and celebrating a championship win in November.

mmm, rugby league!

So i'm sat here on a saturday afternoon not doing much due to a sinus infection, chatting to the rest of Team UK and it was decided to start a blog, mainly to entertain ourselves but if we could bring the lolz to anyone else then bonus!!

I'm getting ready for an all exciting Warrington Wolves v. Wigan Warriors superleague match tonight. Last night I was doing a spot of multitasking watching the Eastenders live episode online and Bradford Bulls totally walking over Castleford Tigers. The only good thing about Castleford is Joe Westerman and only when he has a shaved head.



Wolves v. Warriors is going to be even better seen as the boy is a Wolves fan and I am a Warriors fan, especially when Lee Mossop is bending over.

My enjoyment of League is only a recent thing. I previously preferred Union but how boring is 80 minutes of kicks and line-outs. I'd especially like to thank the lovely Aussie girls at Oh Errol for introducing me to NRL with their fantastic blog. They opened my eyes to 'Hot Bitch' Matt Cooper and for that I will be forever grateful.

The only bad thing about Superleague weekend is I have to miss Take Me Out, which I can live without but last week my old school friend Arton was on. In fairness he picked a trampy looking WAG with terrible lips and terrible boobs so I guess it wasn't too much of a disaster.

I'm predicting a Wigan win but lets wait and see...

Everything tastes better with baxon

You may wonder what baxon is...



Now we love baxon, maybe not to the extreme of covering ourselves in it.




But whether its in pasta, a sarnie or a big dirty fry up, we love baxon.